The Buffering

Difficulty	★★☆☆☆ (2 of 5)
Equipment required	A reliable internet connection. A snack. Tolerance for the spinning wheel.
Recommended for	Long-distance couples. Anyone with a router from before the pandemic. Practitioners with mismatched expectations of pace.

Practitioner’s note

Originating in the early streaming era, the Buffering is named for its characteristic intermittent forward motion. Both participants stop, look at one another, look away, look back, and resume. It is widely considered the position most faithful to the modern condition and is occasionally taught as a primer.

Common mistakes

“Fixing it” via aggressive re-plugging.
Switching to mobile data without warning.
Refreshing.

The Society does not endorse any of the foregoing. The Society is, in fact, fictitious. See the notice.